Before I go on with the Tale of the Missing Glasses I would like to mention a few things.
First of all, within the next few days my blog will pass the 10,000 hits mark which amazes me totally. When I started writing it was just to grumble on about wasted youth and all the things I miss. And now a year on the blog hasn’t changed one bit! I’m still grumbling about wasted youth and all the cool things I miss. With the occasional cool thing I love too.
A big thank you to all my regular readers too and all those who comment, Pennypup, Kenn, The other Ken, my old pal Steve Batt, Lolabees, Linda Hunt, to name but a few. Your comments are what keeps me going, after all as I have said elsewhere on this blog, comments are like crack to a blogger!
and now, as promised…..
(insert fanfare here)
THE TALE OF THE MISSING GLASSES.
A long time ago on a continent far, far away lived a small boy. We shall change his name to protect his identity. David was aged six and did all the things small six-year-old boys did. He would go to primary school (Elementary), he would pull girls pig tails, he would throw stones (another story for another time) and he would love to be the center of attention. Nothings changed much there…..For David I mean, not for me, my name is Dave and we would never want the two to get confused.
So let me see, six years old, I, I mean David would still have been enjoying 1976 and all its flared trouser goodness. His Father was still working night shift at the printing factory, Moore Paragon (I only use the name so it will show up on a search engine) and he very rarely saw the light of day. I had a hunch for the longest time that he was in fact a vampire. The clues were very subtle. Staying up all night was a big clue. Waking me, damn, I mean David up in the middle of the night to watch old black and white vampire movies. Needless to say that when his Father went outside the sunlight caused him major discomfort, especially around the eyes.
To protect his eyes he had the top of the range sunglasses. Were not talking raybans here were talking the super-duper flip-up and down-able clip on cheap plastic sunglasses.
1976 was a hot summer if I remember rightly. The sort of summer where some vampire could really do with a pair of sunglasses. And for most of the summer there was not a problem. Sunglasses were always available at the owners whim. Until that fateful day where the glasses went missing. Dun Dun Dah.
My father was not a happy camper, I mean David’s father was not a happy camper, I really must try harder to keep these running gags going. He searched everywhere for his glasses, but they were nowhere to be found. David watched his father do that crazy thing where someone who is looking for something will return to the same spot time and time again because they know that is where whatever item they are looking for was. As the days went by the frustration grew, and grew, subsided a little, grew some more. And then Autumn (fall) came and sunglasses were not needed, and soon forgotten.
And then Winter came along. When Winter came along something happened. My great (Davids great) hide and seek spot was taken away. During the summer the coal bunker in the back yard was always empty and being small I would hide in there and use it as a secret base. somedays it would be a rocket ship, or a tank, but in Winter it became a boring coal bunker. With that in mind something else happened in Winter. In our front room we had on of those coal fires with the glass door on the front. When lit it would heat up the whole house, and probably the neighbor’s house too. Open fires have always been something David loved. The way the flames dance around, the ability to toast crumpets in your front room!
Man, I want a crumpet now.
With butter dripping in the little holes.
Now, I’m hungry.
O.K. sorry, had to go eat something, back to the story.
Fires, as you all know have that smell to them. Outside it’s the wood, a coal fire has its special odour too. The first fire of Winter 1976 had a special smell too. The smell of burning plastic.
Fortunately for David, the smell did not last long and the rest of the family were just confused as to what the smell was.
But as, dear reader, you have guessed. During the summer David had placed the glasses in one of the slits in the fireplace. And there they waited for their fiery demise.
And now you know what happened to the missing glasses. And so does the rest of my family……I mean Davids.