56. The Internet.

Oh yes, it’s time for this chestnut. We all have wasted too much time on the internet haven’t we? I mean, what are you doing right now?

Heres a little story about how my life got flipped upside-down, I want to tell you how I became the prince of Bel-Air. Oh wait, that wasn’t me that was some other guy. Though the internet did change my life and we have Al Gore to thank for that right?

Bury St. Edmunds and The Sugar Beet Factory. This has no relation at all to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

Back in 1997 I was living in an apartment in good old Bury St.Edmunds. I was working as a security guard at a sugar factory, oh the glamour. But I feel I did a great job protecting all that sugar. Sugar bandits are everywhere people and are a dangerous threat. Probably.  I was living the care free bachelor life-style, had wanted for nothing. I had all I needed. Access to fried chicken, Access to beer (the good stuff, not the name brands you call beer in the States) and in my spare time I wrote a little. I had a typewriter and would often think that it would be easier to just use a pen and bit of paper. Then one fateful day I saw an offer for a computer, buy now pay later. Later being my favorite word on the advert. Never thinking they would be dumb enough to give me a computer I gave the company a call. Well two days later my super shiny new PC showed up. Schweet as some would say.

Kip from Napoleon Dynamite.

It was great, it did what I wanted it to do. I could write and I was tappety tap tapping away within minutes of the windows 95 logo hitting the screen.  However though there was something bugging me and it was the little icon on the screen that said Lineone.  Lineone was an internet provider and the software came loaded on the computer. Did I dare try it?

Of course I did, I remember the day clearly. It was December 4th 1997.  If you want to know why I always remember that day you can go read this blog entry. I’d been at the local drinking establishment that day and returned home feeling a little light-headed for some reason. It was like a guiding hand was motioning me to hit the online button. And there I was doing my first surfing. And I didn’t fall off.

Tony Hancock in The Radio Ham (BBC TV)

I soon ventured into my first Yahoo chat room and I ended up like Kip from Napoleon Dynamite, spending all day chatting on-line with babes.  My writing fell to the one side and my regular home became a UK and Ireland chat room, which strangely was full of people from America and Canada. As the late great Tony Hancock said in the Radio Ham, “Friends all over the world, none in this country, but all over the world.”

I’ve never really thought about fate. Do things happen for a reason? Who can tell. I do know that just ten days after going into that chatroom I started talking to a user who went by the name Squirkie. And we talked, and talked, and the phoned each other and sent each other letters and in under three months I decided to fly to Detroit to meet her. March 6th 1998 I set eyes for the first time on Dawn and now as I write, Dawn and I have been married for ten years now. There are plenty of other stories about my Wife and I, but they are not internet related so I shall save them for another day.

Being married to another internet addict is great, we have always had his and hers computers and it’s always funny when we chat to each other on-line even when we are in the same room. Dumb? No way. It’s a great way to talk when you want to say something that you don’t want the kids to hear!


When you have spent as many hours on the internet as I have there is always something entertaining to watch. Ever since the first dancing baby video back in the day the silly and the irrelevant have always been most popular.

I thought I’d share with you some of my favorite things over the last ten years. You may have seen some of these already, if not, enjoy.

Still popular with me is this video short from 1999. How can you go wrong with an alien singing I will Survive?

Now living in Detroit lions and tigers mean a lot to people, after all for those not from the area the Lions are the local Throwball team and the Tigers play rounders (a girl’s game in England). But I warn you about this next link, it is very addictive, I bet you don’t watch it just once!

lions and Tigers!


I’ve always loved originality, but then there is always a good place for parody and a good mickey taking. This Video on eBaums World is brilliantly done, its eight minutes long but so worth it. If you have ever seen Star Wars, loved it or hated it you will get a good giggle at this short movie. And being a lover of writing, getting writers block is always a problem.

George Lucas in Love.

Now finally, because I’ve wasted enough of your time and you probably burnt some food and the cat has eaten the goldfish (line stolen from the back of a Stephen Fry book) I shall waste your time no more today. I shall however leave you with this video that my kids turned me on to.

I give you Charlie the Unicorn.

Published by David

Guide, Traveller, Mentor, Writer, Depression Free!

2 thoughts on “56. The Internet.

  1. Hahahaha! At least the internet lead you to something great. Some people haven’t been so lucky haha.

    Your first video of the alien singing is made by the same peeps who made this video below. It was one of the first Youtube video’s I’d ever seen. Enjoy!

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