22. Music News

The following is an official press release.  All major news media can contact for interviews.

As of today December 16th 2011, the rock band known as The Royal Culprits will be making no further attempts to hit the big time in the music business and have decided that it is time to do something more important.

The Royal Culprits formed in early 1982 and were ready to take on the world. The English duo of Steve Batt (Lead Guitar) and Dave Baker (Drums and Vocals) were not going to let a small thing such as only being twelve years old stop them from topping the charts.  When normal kids were out enjoying the summer break, the Culprits spent hours practicing their very unique sound.

Steve B (Left) Dave B (not Left) this was to be the cover art for the first album.

As critics from as far away as six houses would say, “the problem is not that they are loud, it’s just that it sounds awful.” This was to be expected from those who just didn’t understand the raw energy that could be heard at most hours of the day and night.  Steve Batt remembers vividly those glory days. ” it was brilliant because at 12 years old it was the best piece of music and lyrically ever written.”  He was of course referring to the only cover version the band did, a vibrant copy of Dexys Midnight Runners, ‘Come on Ileen’ 


state of the art sound system

“Recording the songs was never a problem,” remembers Dave Baker. “We had the latest equipment that money could buy. It was simple and portable, really handy for recording live on the road, and by on the road I mean out in my back garden because my mum had got fed up with the noise.”  “We had to record our stuff every time we played it, for several reasons really, one was of course that we never wrote anything down, music, lyrics etc. so to know how a song went we would have to listen to it back. Then of course there was the real problem with Steve’s guitar. It may have been called a six string, but it never actually had six. or five. In fact I think it ended up with three at the last count. And out of those three none were in tune. My drums we no better, most sessions I had to play them muffled because of the noise. I normally chucked a copy of Exchange and Mart over the tom-tom to keep it down a little.”

Someone smell something burning?

There was one concert, held in the front room of Number 6, Deck Walk, Bury St.Edmunds. The most impressive thing being the lighting. Four actual spotlights with red bulbs. Dave says “The lights weren’t the impressive thing, the fact that I never electrocuted myself was. I’d never wired a plug before and just screwed the wires in where I thought they should go, guess I got lucky, but hey, that’s rock ‘n’ roll.” Ticket sales were poor. Well non-existent.

The critics were once again harsh on the recordings. Steves’ Dad described the original song Money Means Nothing to Me, as sounding like “Two Chinese men being strangled.” It was after that the recordings went “underground” and the last song written Doreen hit the tape. A tape that has been missing now for nearly thirty years. 

The summer that the Culprits ruled the Howard Estate came to an end and all good things have an ending. The Culprits ended when Daves’ Mum sold his drum set.  So really they split in 1982, but as nothing official was ever put out and the thirtieth anniversary was coming up it was time to put the record straight.

Long Live the rock and roll


Published by David

Guide, Traveller, Mentor, Writer, Depression Free!

3 thoughts on “22. Music News

  1. I just remembered mate I think my man and grandad were at mum and dads when we played the tape , thankfully they were old and deaf.

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